It has been so long since I wrote my thoughts.
Would mine friends still visit here to read? Or would they think this is yet another abandon site?

I am on another job now. 14 Oct would be my 3rd month anniversary! Time files!

Before arriving in this job I am all excited. So excited that I could not contain my joy by counting down to the days before I start it. The location of the office, the pay and job natural... All of which I loved and prayed for. All here all come true.


Now 2 months plus into the job. What are my thoughts?

Alot went through my mind. Colleagues are too good. A bit afraid of my boss. Missed one of my colleague (because he treat me too good), but he had left. Job hunting in Australia now.

But something had happened to me. Good and not so good. Good thing is I have become closer to a WD and she guiding me in my life in practice of my faith and also expending circle of friendship. This is a good thing. I am more positive now.

The not so good side of thing is that I am starting to develop some disturbed sleeping patten. No matter what time I sleep, I would wake up around 4 to 5 in the morning and could not goes back to sleep any more.

This is kind of irritating as I am tired and wished to sleep more. But I COULD NOT! My heart would be pounding very fast like I am running. I have to quit coffee because of pounding heart problem too!

Looks like a lot had happened to me within just mere 2 months time.

Read a book this morning. It is about sleeping problem. Mine case hopefully is a temperately problem due to new changes to my work place. However, I felt that and know that there is more to work problem that caused me this stress. There is also some sort of heart problem too.

I must sort things out. I must recover.

Used to not understand why should a person live out his/her life long. However, recent encountered with a friend who told me that he would like to live long because he believed he can contribute more to people around him. He can help and would like to help those in need. His life is a life of deep compassion. It is because when you live for others then you would have to courage to continue when all seem dim and hopeless.

I want to live long too. I know I too can contribute more to the people around me. Thus I will find the root to my problem. This would be my current 1st priorities. Only with my good physical and mental health can I contribute.

If I were to live, I want to live out my life to the fullest.

Nothing in between life and death. If living in between than, why live at all?

Only choice - Living to the fullest!

Labels: Thoughts

It has been a long long time since I blog...

Too long didnt blog so I really dont know how to share lei...

Since pictures speak a thousands words... Hee... Please see my two thousands words...

Enjoy...

I really really HATE POLITIC.

However, I needs to understand the working of it to prevent myself from falling into it.

In my group there are two ladies seniors. Let call then Senior A and Senior B.

Senior A came into the company the same time/batch as my boss...
However due to previous job commitment, my boss entered into her job role three months late.

When she entered into my company and was assigned to work in the same Lab as Senior A and another Senior - Senior C.

Senior A and Senior C refused to teach my boss anything( Both seniors when through a training and my boss missed it as she entered the company later.)

Never mind my boss study on her own. However during lunch, she tried to mingle with the ladies in the lab (including the 2 seniors). She saw an empty seat beside the two seniors and asked if she can seat down. They answered very straight, "No, someone among us don't like you."

During one of the working session, my boss was required to take samples in put them in the refrigerator for testing. She wrote on a piece of paper to indicate which production it belongs to. Normally when people sees that, they will leave the sample alone. However, someone switch off the refrigerator! The samples were ruined.

Thinking that someone accidentally switch the power off. My boss wrote another note beside the switch - "please don't not switch off". And she took more samples to run the test in the refrigerator.

Guess what?

Someone switch it off again. This time round, there is a writing on the "Please don't switch the power off" note. The new text wrote: "So what if I switch off?"
Very mean isn't it?

My boss said it was Senior A and C who did it. There are more bullying stuff which they did.

She bear with it for as long as she could because her mum needed her to send money back. Finally she could not take it, she changed to another department.

When she is been asked to be my section manager, she was very reluctant. However, she finally got over it. She never tries to make things difficult for Senior A, in fact she valued her experiences. My boss try to train Senior A to goes to a managing role.

Isn't my boss has a big heart?

It has been a long time since I really seat down to reflect on my life and blog it.

Too much had happened... Not till tonite meeting with my friend ML that decided to blog again...

Brief update... Pass few months fighting with myself on to change a job or not in this bad economy situation. Final decision is to stay and learn.

Then the big news came...

We were sold!!

Fear, anxious, uncertainty.
So much emotions.

I felt that rather then fearing, I would like to know what is coming. Finally picking up the courage to find out more...
Guess what? The other company don't have finance, IT and HR departments. All were been outsourced. Well most importantly the organisation structure don not have my department. The function is been conbined with another department.

Just as I though so. My Department job role can actually be conbine with another department.

See where fate bring me?

So I start on the painful journey to look for job... Till date I only sent 2 resumes. Bad isn't it?

Doing a balancing act these few months too...

My mum shop neighbours are becoming very political these days... Refusing to speak to my mum and sis. Insulted them openly and chasing away their customers.

On the other hand, I am dealing with my colleagues who are political too. Refusing to talk to me. Even the "friend" at work start to take sides.

I was very lost at 1st, hurt too...
However, after speaking to my boss, I decided the situation I am in is not the worse.
I decided to stand up... =D

While try to raise above my situation, I listen to my mum and sis complaints. At times due to pressure, they would accuse and verbal assaulting me. Sometime really feel like giving up.

However, it is my Buddhist practise that gives me courageous and determination to carry on.

I am not giving up. I find the answer to my sis problem recently through byakuran meeting and studies. I will slowing teach her and pray for her happiness too...

I have a list of things to do. I cant fall sick. I cant give up.

Finally completed the change. =P

Finally this skin fit my feeling now. =)

Travel... Always on the Move

Finally the answer is out.

They will move to the west end of the homeland.
I will move with them. But I will rent another room nearby so that I can accompany mum when my siblings are busy.

On my part, I am sort of settled down with the idea. I think it is for the better.

Bro decided to take up the responsibility of paying all the rental and water bill. Nothing make a person grows up more then hardship. When I am around, they thought that I will always be there. But now he grows up. More responsible more sensible.

Sis? She has been very pressurised by herself. Thinking I will not be with them, she has to be independent. Thinking that she would be able to take care of Mum. So she wants to find a job as quickly as possible. Thus these days has been very emotional days for her. Not easy. But it is part of life.

At first I thought that they purposely left me out of their plan, thus I was very very sad. But looking at their emotions these few days. I think they have made the same mistake again - Not thinking clearly before they do anythings. Unintentionally hurting me.

However, whatever it is. I believe it is turning for the better. Cos at last they are growing up. Taking responsibilities that they should have long assume as son, as daughter, as a citizen of the society.

Now is time to start saving so that I can buy the necessary daily items for them and rental for my new place. Moving cost. New items such as lamps, heater system, all installations. Beds, shelve,etc. So many things in such a short time. But I will be able to make it. No problem.

I am not afraid of hardship. I am more afraid losing direction in life. Losing myself. If I need anything, it is my compass in life. That is all. =)

☆杨丞琳☆
☆词 曲:苏打绿☆

每次我总一个人走
交叉路口自己生活
这次你却说带我走
某个角落就你和我

像土壤抓紧花的迷惑
像天空缠绵雨的汹涌
在你的身后 计算的步伐每个背影每个场景
都有 发过的梦

带我走
到遥远的以后
带走我
一个人自转的寂寞
带我走
就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕 带我走

每次我总独自远走
保持缄默不皱眉头
这次你却说一起走
彼此温柔 从此以后

像土壤抓紧花的迷惑
像天空缠绵雨的汹涌
在你的身后 计算的步伐每个背影每个场景
都有 发过的梦

带我走
到遥远的以后
带走我
一个人自转的寂寞

带我走
就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕 带我走
wo```

白马溜过漆黑尽头
潮汐袭来浪花颤动
凝在海岸结成了墨
wo~~

蔷薇朝向草原气球
邮差传来一地彩虹
刻在心中拍打着脉搏...

带我走
到遥远的以后
带走我
一个人自转的寂寞
带我走
就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕 带我走

带我走
就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
wo~~

带我走

Labels: songs